when she comes

sometimes she comes and perches on my shoulder

uninvited, demanding, screeching like a cloud

pushing my head down, making me hesitant on every move

making me hurt, easy to tears, inexplicable

unexpected this arrival, all her visits 

it's me and it is not really me

she comes and alights with no permission

she take me by storm, it is my invasion

i cover her, i push her, i try not to see her

i cannot even like her but i must forgive her 

all i feel is a helplessness, a loneliness i can't fathom

a breathless hold that's not mine but all mine

there is no reason for this but grief isn't fair

i am but an outcome of an existence that was given

perhaps i should embrace her and hold her as mine

and maybe if i hold tight i will stop her from hurting...


-reena
sometime 2013... i forget the date. she made me.