speed

Perhaps we try to fill it all up
To have markers showing we really where here
Little intents, moments we hurried through
Hoping speed, sheer grit will burn through the fear

Ground in our steps in a fool's certain march
Leaving shallow footprints we smugly displayed 
Even as we turned, hurried onto new roads
Winds blew, time flooded in, faded them away

Our breathless jottings of all that we saw
Our mad recounting of lists we crossed off
Miles we covered, turned to see if we missed any
Marking meaningless baubles, petty wars

But as we reached our maturing hour
If we were lucky our hands were warm
Only such loves that sustained with us
Had kept pace, walked steadily along

They said you'll not know how happy you turned out to be
And as I sit listening to the chimes that hum with me
I mark the uncounted: great loves, kind forgivers, steady rocks, true mirrors,
No other counter, nor currency could this life be measured in...

Reena
July 30, 2013

so many words

i sit here often thinking of what i want to say
show you my map of how it went awry
wasn't what i wanted or hoped for
but i slipped somehow in this exchange

so many questions but i lost the words
i walked confused, as if i imagined it
if you said you don't know what i could possibly mean
i'd take it as the truth, final and simple

not because i think you mean what you say
not because i understand your words or such meaning
not because i think i can talk through this
only because it's truer than you think

and because i have run out of words to reach you
perhaps too many words flowed without explanation
easy, too easy to put down, hit send
sell out what's real for daily dose of projection

time we wasted, even a lifetime who knows?
how i never at a loss for words or objection
never afraid to talk it through, work it out
found refuge in my losing exhaustion

then i think maybe they are right
those that say i think myself astray
too much introspection can be bad for you
i don't buy it but i swallow anyway

perhaps i can't talk because i've lost the argument
whatever it was i couldn't have won
i did not know where i stood or do now
sure this is best; lets you off ; no questions...

...

--reena
july 22 2013

thoughts on how two people can misread each other...even in this world of over-communication or perhaps because of it...we write a few words in an email and think we have truly shared our heart's condition...