almost gone

Sometimes I just pretend

Other times I look away 

Lived day has a way of dulling 

But this heart, somehow it knows

My body reflects this pain

As I fall asleep at night

A heaviness covers my being

A blanket of imminent loss

Felt and known within

Even as I pretend with every busy-ness

A futile foil, paper thin to life's inevitable griefs...

---

Reena

10/7/2020

Pup Love

To love a dog is to know near certain heartbreak

Mismatched lifespans leave little escape

Putting their lives in our hands; we watch on helpless

Yet what would life be without this vulnerable mess?

When they come at us with such unmoored abandon

Love with a force fearful humans hardly fathom

Grand illusion we signed up for this love, we’d like to maintain

No choice but to love back; sign me up please -- again and again!

—

Reena

9/9/2020

Dusk

That stage of life where the losses ahead more numerous, known

No escape routes, just one foot before the other

And on and on we go looking up; face them squarely most days

Yet some days crushed, exhausted I rest for a better fight tomorrow...

___

Reena
8/29/2020

Little Nest

She made a little nest on the wreath on my door
When, how or why this came about I'll never know
Leaving her precious ones in my care

Somehow she knows a mother lives here...

reena / july 27th 2020

metamorphosis

my butterfly's flown
spread her wings and she's gone
no longer daily setting
of my life's routine

bride

she steps across the threshold before her
expectation, life unfolding anew
steps tentative yet carried on wings
a smile tremulous yet bold with ownership

her words soft and expectant of acknowledgment
she sees him watching her awkward hesitation
he holds her hand, steadies her gait
her adorned feet land, flattening the hill of rice

her dreams adorn this courtyard empty
rainbows glow even in dirty puddles
she vows to make this house her home
already she sees where her touch will shine

as she undoes her ornaments, heaviness of silks
finds herself breathless from the newness of it all
tomorrow will be the start of a new life
new words in her vocabulary...husband and wife

it will be a home of love, happiness will reign
he will see my magic touch, how the fates bow to me
so many dreams! she checks herself
please, just this one day, lets herself go

for tomorrow who knows what she'll awake to
she could be his queen, his partner or no one at all
her happiness captive even in ceremonious rebirth
she hasn't forgotten her chains have only changed hands

--reena
completing this poem 8 years later...
nov 13 2011 -- jan 22 2020

youth

how obsessed we are with youth and being young or looking young or staying young. so much energy goes into preserving ourselves in our prime or at least the pretense of it. this is not to say it's wrong. it's just human. get to about my age and you start noticing that Kansas did get left far behind and we are new territory and then there is the fleeting feeling that we are alone in how we arrived and the same applies to our departure. we shall be leaving alone. a lonely thought. and one that has made many of us shrink in fear and perhaps forms the foundation for many a religion, and other forms of solace. it's ok to have a good sigh or even cry for it and better yet a temporary yet futile refusal to co-operate but ultimately all you are left with... is the game at hand.

you going to play or not?