aruna

this thanksgiving it will be one dozen wondrous years
since your gift, the miraculous one you gave
the one i laid claim to, yet she came to own me
the one that flowered into my being
grew roots deep, pervaded my soul, blossomed wide
a flourishing happiness for all my years

we brought her home and ours she was - this bundle of our hearts
long before we knew, somehow you knew how it would turn out
gave her to us, us to her, fates sealed with a grace and a blessing
and went about that morning like it was just another day
but i saw the tear, that self respect your sacred calling wrought
such a gentle touch that moved mountains, restored hearts

somehow today i searched for you even as i've known you're gone
i recalled the day we heard -- gone too soon, too soon, too soon!
a fear spread through my being, a panic this earth had slipped
such a wrong, a meaningless wrong hurled upon an oblivious world
who decided you had to go when scattered lives needed your hand?
how does this world go on when the maker of families is gone?

this paper talked about your words, brought back how you were
dignity in a relentless march with hope, unflinching aplomb
how you said "what WE can do for them..." as only you could have
i remember your scolding for me once when i dared to lose hope
"if you're feeling down and out, think how we go on"
shamed me to look up, stand up, brave & smiling there you were

so every time you cross my mind, and i see my beautiful one
my heart fills up so i can't speak, i cry to tell you what you were
you have been gone, the world is poor, the sky less blue since then
how will i ever repay this debt? ashes, memories draw a blank
that awful day i called and spoke to your daughter, i sobbed
"what your mother gave to me, now i can never repay..."

--reena
june 7th 2013
--------------------
for the amazing woman mrs. aruna kumar of Palna/ DCCW in Delhi who gave me and us so much and who i will never be able to repay... and for every person who has given me something, anything, i want to express my gratitude today, everyday.

when she went suddenly, unexpectedly in 2006 she was only 58 and left so many luckless ones who did not have the good fortune of crossing her path...

http://www.financialexpress.com/news/children-s-centre-turns-50/63419/0

ek din

छोटी सी खुशियाँ
कई दिन मेरे दर पे खड़ी रहतीं हैं
कभी आवाज़ देकर मुझे बुलाना पड़ता है
तो कभी मैं उनकी राह तकते वहीँ सो जाती हूँ

कभी हिचकिचाते हुए मेरे पहलू में आकर बैठ जातीं हैं
कभी कूदकर मुझे गले लगा लेती हैं
लेकिन जभी भी हाथ थामने को आगे बढ़तीं हूँ
जाने क्यूँ मुझसे शर्मा जातीं हैं ...

the gift

In the early evening hour I'm sorry to reveal

If you look for me, I won't be found willingly

I won't be at my station toiling a long day

I won't be at the store carting stuff away

I won't be in my kitchen devising a new recipe

I won't be found reading or relaxing merrily

But those that know, know where to look

No distant land, nor comfy nook

It's where Mira and Moxie follow my feet

As I plant and feed and water and weed

As I nurture this patch, each visit a gift

The deepest of calm, such joy! I'm adrift

And if you call to me I will not come

Words, distractions, temptations I shun

I will not rob this hour and the bond

That keeps me rooted for hours and beyond

For gardening is among myriad gifts she gave

Finding a flow in those memories I save

I followed in her feet as she tended the garden

Recharged her energies each day in her haven

Taught me much about how to savor this life  

Make a garden, nurture beauty, relish the tiniest delight!

invisible

such a life will pass us by

don't forget me today

or the day i call and say

I was there you didn't see...

don't forget me

when i am gone

when our lives will stay tangled

but my laugh will be an echo

when my touch will be but a tingle

and my breath a warm memory

hold my hand today

for i am here

i am alive

i can see you

don't forget to see me




-----




june 12th 2011 (an old one)

chapter

This Mom of yours...
------------
Some days I wonder if
All I'm teaching you is mine
Really what I'm learning myself
Only a few decades behind

But willing and open to shed
the old; and acquire the new
How long do we really learn?
Asks a forgotten childhood

With you I've rediscovered
Where I'd left off without knowing
Somewhere this dreamer awakened
Recalling a neglected reverie

For soon enough my butterfly
shall sprout her rainbow wings
I brace as she readies for flight
Wonder what her journey will bring?

And I'll have to console myself
That you'll have your own landings
And even as your heart stays open
You're centered for wise navigating

And I'll rush to call and check
At every possible misstep
Perhaps I would have learned to stop,
"I think she's ok - we did talk about that..."
----

For my little sweetheart who grows up too fast ....
April 14, 2012

manic monday

Looked up today and noticed
March was almost done
One more week and another month
Will slip by, be just a bygone

I wondered if 25% counted for something
Did I really live a quarter of this year already?
Bide the winter till Spring came peeping by
To play in my garden, on my knees, muddy

Inexorable, this march; sweeps us along
I wonder how it started to race on so
Who sped it up so the rush leaves me dizzy?
What happened to the days we took it slow?

Who made these calls, these tunes I now march to?
The daily cadence of life's calls, unforgiving demand
A self-centered thirst comes over me
In crowds, I dream of hiding in my garden...


............
to manic mondays and more...


March 25th 2013

owed

I have answers for the complacent ones, who lounge in their stupor

Bleating on what can we do? we are too little, too weak, too far away…

What answers do I give to those who were battered themselves

Whose bones were hacked, lives torn up like second hand trash

What do we tell those who cry: I was there. It was me they felled; the rest simply walked away…

I think of you often and wonder what dreams you left unfinished
How much your mother cried, or couldn't - even as she bled
When your father stopped breathing, every breath hurt so much
Whither those you touched drifted, emptied by humanity's betrayal

Yet there were those who simply left you for dead, near dead
"What could have we done?" "We are but helpless - indeed!"
"It is the system that's so rotten" they must boisterously proclaim
Then secure their homes to rebirth the same wretched filth

Maybe the sleeping wrath you woke will howl unto hell
Maybe the world will move on - unmoved
Maybe one day you'll come back, seek us out for an answer
Was it me or your dharma that was raped that day?

------
for nirbhaya...
who was raped and murdered on dec 16th 2012...and who i cannot - and will not - forget...

--reena
3/9/13 11:23pm