getting here

sometimes that oldness comes over me
these trusty bones lay bare the journey
this skin, these eyes, this body my sages
even if this mind with its hubris can't see

it's not that we feel any older
this mind chases on its own dimension
the heart of course marches as it will
the feral creature demands attention

yet this realization that it's different
nothing like i thought i'd feel
nor anything i imagined "they" felt
those who i've viewed from my youth

yet i love the fight that's here
keeping this edifice moving, alive
keeping this curiosity lit
this love for the next corner's surprise

reveling in all i have learned
letting go of the vanities in between
grateful for the demons i slayed
yet humility for those that stayed

a blessing for all that's been mine

carrying more goodbyes than hellos

acceptance for what is long gone,

signs that it's ok. let it go!

reena

july 11, 2019

to autumn

edges of autumn seap into the air
the winds bring dry rustlings of leaves
my ears listen, as my face braces
for this love so harsh, so pure

the seasons come in their march
unaware of our waves and tides
unbeknownst to the promises made
forced transitions i shed my leaves too

i anticipate these moultings like rebirths
happy to see a new life ahead
for every day new, every breath asks its due
there is after all only this one happy accident

so up i rise and on i walk
always this love, and light and laughs
transformations arrive to lead me anew
daily deeply i thank my mad precious stars

---
reena
sept 21st 2017

Perfect storm

Feel lucky every day to have so much love

This capacity to love deeply, expansively, without dilution

All this love paraded openly, without hesitation, no self-conscious embarrassment

Expressed as it bubbles without permission wildly, madly, daily

Lucky to have been raised by those that know how to love

Among others in my tribe who're known for love 

Big hearts, warm arms, ocean hearts 

Luckier still to have found such love

Love beyond blood

Love that multiplies, never divides 

Every time I catch a glimmer, a warmth, a reflection of it
Deep friendships, sisters, those that share my lens,
Or simply see me and carry me even in my shirking lows

And then to have fallen in love with you who knows love
Can't imagine a life without such a love, that gives as truly for such a love

Never tires, never slows, never trades anything lesser for love

Lucky to have met you, to have noticed how you risk all for love
Luckier still to be seen by you wholly, deeply with my faults and sins

Lucky to be here in this space and time that affords love, doesn't regret nor resent love; 

Where the strains of survival, petty dangers, animal instinct can't debase love

Here where love matters, becomes the reason and sole star to follow 

Lucky to build our altar of love, the calm and deepest of happiness to have known this, 

This feeling, this gratitude, this wild elation

This pure dumb luck of love...
Here I reign!

----

reena

4/24/17

traveling long haul from home to home evoked this deep feeling of gratitude for what i have...

fire eater

it was you that became the reason
i came out and played with fire
light and heat my customary constants
burned brighter than i could have known

but this fire was not one i ever asked for
now it was all mine to embrace inhale
i drank with abandon fooling this head
only the gallant must play here for sure

then one day it became mine to hold alone
yet i carried it further, my precious light
who could persuade me of its empty hollow?
even when burns replaced the glow

so now i know you run retreat
to your empty excuse of a shell
i'll go tread places i've always been
tending my fires like i've done before

perhaps one day i'll see the burns
seared more deeply than my bargain
maybe i'll laugh at my own audacity
of letting this skin not fear the sun

precious scars on skin will surely tell
of a story that was worth the while
in one short life i've burned and brightly
than fizzle in silent safe compromise

---
reena
3/31/17

heard this song after aeons and it got this persistent poem come pouring out
"hum tere pyaar mein saara alam kho bathay kho bathay
tum kahtay ho ke aise pyaar ko bhool jao bhool jao..."
(translation: in your love i forgot the world, and you tell me to forget this love?)

faults

some of our faults were distant strangers
even to us our critical selves
even as we looked in the mirror
we thought we knew who that was
that stared back in dim confusion
for what life left at our door
was surely not what we sought
there must be some mistake
yet again it was a fault but not ours
we built a shield so strong
smug in our self assuredness
but our body knew exhausted by pretense
we thought we knew how to love
but maybe we didn't know how to be loved
to give ourselves a firm permission
to give our hearts away, and leave doors open...

---
reena
3/24/17

Entitled

Somehow I became
One who demanded too much
But were you not mine?

---
Reena
3/12/17

restless

will you write me a poem some day?
maybe it will have the secrets i search
after all i only ask for your words
for they may somehow quench this thirst

maybe you won't be able to say
maybe it will still sing my song
maybe i already know what it claims
maybe yet somehow i'll get it all wrong

but whatever it is i promise myself
it will take me to a place i belong
it will ask all questions unasked
for a soul that searches answers unknown

perhaps you'll only write me a word or two
just tired of these persistent woes
parched souls ask for elixirs impossible
perhaps some chapters can never be closed

but write me a few words i can take with me
indulge me my wandering fantasy
only you have the words that can bring
those calming intervals for this restless soul

---
reena
3/6.17