deep

long are my losses
and so many departures
broken notions of debts
unpaid or never taken

burdens you brought and
left at my door
i took them in and carried
what was not mine to bear

yet you seemed to lose
the words you owed to me
even if actions never acted
i could dream for a while

the years just flew
became mere vapors to hold
where i should have left a wall
i now find the deepest voids

so i'll walk along
try not to look over anymore
for i have been loved so long
even the deepest ones will fill

-------
reena
september 27 2016

Tide

tide

look for your chance

don't say no when she knocks

happiness comes a few times

to our door and holds out her hand

if the voices hold you back

they speak for themselves, for others, for those who crush in the name of peace

never you, never one who stands and says "i matter"

never a dignity you seek, never that which will have us blossom

so turn a deaf ear, grab her hand, walk away

for this life has no grace, no love, no joy

you've done what you could

walk away now and grab that happiness

it's yours, rightfully yours and only yours

but you'll have to stand up, take it, be seen with it

no shame in that except for the voices

shut them out and step out into the sunlight...

--

Reena Kapoor

June 30th 2011

Wrote this for a friend who deserves better -- and simply needs to give herself permission for it...

winds

People move on, 

Idle curiosities die

Words wash away, 

Promises vaporize to fly

Truths hold their breath, 

as trusts come up blank

I let it all dissolve to dust

Just the times must've changed 

--Reena

Sept 2016

Wanderlust...

The stars will sometimes point the way

The winds surely nudge me on

Greater still distant lands that call

A lust to wander, their hopeless draw and surely I'll be gone ...

reena

-----

july 2016

eternity

so few days altogether remain
so much beauty to witness therein
i want to embrace it, swallow it all
i want to consume it, inhale it in

every morning when the birds chirp
my garden i wander into bare feet
craving to feel the earth on my soles
the grass that cools last night's fears

the chimes sing and urge me on
open your arms give it a try
a real embrace you will find
you can have this universe

for when you pass and as you leave
that joyousness will always remain
your essence the one that felt this need
will live in this perfumed garden

and those who come may never know
but somehow this presence will persist
for the grass the caressed my feet and played
will tell of joys past and yet to come...

--reena
from a cool summer morning
june 2nd 2016

protest

you want to know why i am this way
can't give you every last bit of trust
but i give away every bit of me
when i love, it can't be any other way

so my only wall is this last protest
i refuse to believe you're all mine
i won't let you have all my trust
for i fear my own annihilation

part of me will know to wait for you
even if you decide to keep walking on
if i am lost or drowning out at sea
i will look behind to see you coming for me

even then i know i'll let my heart wait again
but for now i try to convince it so
i won't believe what i already know
so let me have this last indulgence

this last resistance, this protest i make
is a paper thin wall i build to protect
even when i know this dam will break
i'll at least tell myself, i knew better...


reena
may 25th 2016
++++++++

claims and claimants

so you claimed friendship
as if it were a mere ritual
all you did was break bread together
even then only the ones allowed

or claimed you had sat and talked
but such guarded lines stood at impasse
sure claiming we shared it all
but our bread and daughters never crossed

what kind of friendship was this?
where suspicions stood ready at the door
guarding your purity that one so frail
and your gods offended at every drop

an idol became an insult
a slight touch was a fatal defiling
who can claim a kinship then
with all at ready for an easy killing

what kinds of gods are these
that only accept the other's blood
so decades old friendship became
nothing but a shallow house of mud

own up to the petty slave you are
to your unyielding god's fiery calls
and maybe then you'll readily smash
your narrow faith's mighty walls...


--
reena
may 24th 2016

"we always had muslim friends, i don't know how the killing began or why it happened....we never discriminated..."