protest

you want to know why i am this way
can't give you every last bit of trust
but i give away every bit of me
when i love, it can't be any other way

so my only wall is this last protest
i refuse to believe you're all mine
i won't let you have all my trust
for i fear my own annihilation

part of me will know to wait for you
even if you decide to keep walking on
if i am lost or drowning out at sea
i will look behind to see you coming for me

even then i know i'll let my heart wait again
but for now i try to convince it so
i won't believe what i already know
so let me have this last indulgence

this last resistance, this protest i make
is a paper thin wall i build to protect
even when i know this dam will break
i'll at least tell myself, i knew better...


reena
may 25th 2016
++++++++

claims and claimants

so you claimed friendship
as if it were a mere ritual
all you did was break bread together
even then only the ones allowed

or claimed you had sat and talked
but such guarded lines stood at impasse
sure claiming we shared it all
but our bread and daughters never crossed

what kind of friendship was this?
where suspicions stood ready at the door
guarding your purity that one so frail
and your gods offended at every drop

an idol became an insult
a slight touch was a fatal defiling
who can claim a kinship then
with all at ready for an easy killing

what kinds of gods are these
that only accept the other's blood
so decades old friendship became
nothing but a shallow house of mud

own up to the petty slave you are
to your unyielding god's fiery calls
and maybe then you'll readily smash
your narrow faith's mighty walls...


--
reena
may 24th 2016

"we always had muslim friends, i don't know how the killing began or why it happened....we never discriminated..."

Life's lines

Do we slow down at this journey's end
Because the friction gets so great
Or because we're tired and too weary for speed
Or is it only because we finally want to savor all that we know will be lost to us
All that was ours when we flirted about focused on irritants, minutiae
That we can't recall but then loomed large

So in this hour we long to grasp the beauty, hold on to the love, 

soak in our gratitude for having made this journey
Is that what the slowing is all about?
A final plea, a gentle struggle, a begrudging yielding
And a salute to love and life's brilliant glamor
Our vanity sucked away, our final victory over what didn't matter, in what is our final defeat.

Oh this flicker, momentary presence,
Oh sweet life!


-----
Reena
May 3rd 2016 

jigsaw

i write a few lines
stare at the words
to find the meaning
for this restlessness
who knows my name
and calls me so loudly
yet only i hear that voice
i stare at the letters
seeing the pieces untidy
will they fit together
or just jagged edges
elbowing for room
in my consciousness
calling for my attention
yet fleeing when i come
will the broken ones
please stand up
and identify themselves
perhaps these words will yield
the answers or maybe
there are none
and i make peace
with the unyielding questions...

shells & walls

and so you think this is a choice
something you can fight and flay
protect that place, that inner space
and hold me distant, safely at bay

so go on then and do what you must
and i will be right here standing still
for my breath it comes reminding me
i don't quite own your luxuries

such power, such a giant hold
was never mine to walk out that door
i never practiced hard enough
to love a little less or hold back more

for they say that's how to build a shell
i give it up as it spills from me
no bridge, no walls, no dams i built
i give up all, let it go for free

risked it happy for a life of heat
in this moment, in short time
i knew your walls your safety nets
no such luxuries were ever mine

did you think there'd be
a return to relive this time?
it's all here now and only this
then nothing but echoes in time

so come now, walk with me again
put your defenses away today
there may be pain, no guarantees
but oh we'll have such amazing days!


reena
april 26th 2016

the sea

the sea may come looking for me
the waves lap up inviting
i am not ready now, will I ever be?
i walk inattentive even as it's beckoning

this sand, this shore where we belong
this short sweet life with my hand in yours
the waves make us laugh, the sun we soak
together we built our haven our home

i think this love the force it has
must echo endless in this universe
how can it not blanket my every being
even after it is all ashes and dust

every day i thank my stars above
confess my love, hold my heart to yours
treasures we collected on this life's shore
became our light for ever more

i know some day the sea will come
into the blue i'll just have to go
but until then you'll find me here
every force bows deep to your hold

------------------
love...reena
april 13th 2016

university cafe

i went to that old cafe today
but it was not old from those days before
had been sold for some time i was told
and new lights and shine spoke loudly

it was where you'd like to meet
for anyone who sought you out
for advice and counsel and words to guide
for all who stumbled, got up and walked

never too busy never as much as lesser men
you always had this endless time
never dismissive "i'll let you know ..."
never a procrastinated phone call forgot

how genius generosity and an elder spirit
found home in your authentic self
no one you touched went unmoved about
after you were gone that miserable night

a freakish accident, a stunning blow
for all of us who forget in the now
that something senseless can befall
giants or ants equally erased

no one seemed to mind the new lights
in that place where old smells still lived
now the young faces chattered and talked
for new eras were hiding in the fold of time

the world moves, rotates endlessly hurried
i will remember as many like me must do
each carries memories of your giant spirit
that is all that remains and all that persists...

-reena