Life's lines

Do we slow down at this journey's end
Because the friction gets so great
Or because we're tired and too weary for speed
Or is it only because we finally want to savor all that we know will be lost to us
All that was ours when we flirted about focused on irritants, minutiae
That we can't recall but then loomed large

So in this hour we long to grasp the beauty, hold on to the love, 

soak in our gratitude for having made this journey
Is that what the slowing is all about?
A final plea, a gentle struggle, a begrudging yielding
And a salute to love and life's brilliant glamor
Our vanity sucked away, our final victory over what didn't matter, in what is our final defeat.

Oh this flicker, momentary presence,
Oh sweet life!


-----
Reena
May 3rd 2016 

jigsaw

i write a few lines
stare at the words
to find the meaning
for this restlessness
who knows my name
and calls me so loudly
yet only i hear that voice
i stare at the letters
seeing the pieces untidy
will they fit together
or just jagged edges
elbowing for room
in my consciousness
calling for my attention
yet fleeing when i come
will the broken ones
please stand up
and identify themselves
perhaps these words will yield
the answers or maybe
there are none
and i make peace
with the unyielding questions...

shells & walls

and so you think this is a choice
something you can fight and flay
protect that place, that inner space
and hold me distant, safely at bay

so go on then and do what you must
and i will be right here standing still
for my breath it comes reminding me
i don't quite own your luxuries

such power, such a giant hold
was never mine to walk out that door
i never practiced hard enough
to love a little less or hold back more

for they say that's how to build a shell
i give it up as it spills from me
no bridge, no walls, no dams i built
i give up all, let it go for free

risked it happy for a life of heat
in this moment, in short time
i knew your walls your safety nets
no such luxuries were ever mine

did you think there'd be
a return to relive this time?
it's all here now and only this
then nothing but echoes in time

so come now, walk with me again
put your defenses away today
there may be pain, no guarantees
but oh we'll have such amazing days!


reena
april 26th 2016

the sea

the sea may come looking for me
the waves lap up inviting
i am not ready now, will I ever be?
i walk inattentive even as it's beckoning

this sand, this shore where we belong
this short sweet life with my hand in yours
the waves make us laugh, the sun we soak
together we built our haven our home

i think this love the force it has
must echo endless in this universe
how can it not blanket my every being
even after it is all ashes and dust

every day i thank my stars above
confess my love, hold my heart to yours
treasures we collected on this life's shore
became our light for ever more

i know some day the sea will come
into the blue i'll just have to go
but until then you'll find me here
every force bows deep to your hold

------------------
love...reena
april 13th 2016

university cafe

i went to that old cafe today
but it was not old from those days before
had been sold for some time i was told
and new lights and shine spoke loudly

it was where you'd like to meet
for anyone who sought you out
for advice and counsel and words to guide
for all who stumbled, got up and walked

never too busy never as much as lesser men
you always had this endless time
never dismissive "i'll let you know ..."
never a procrastinated phone call forgot

how genius generosity and an elder spirit
found home in your authentic self
no one you touched went unmoved about
after you were gone that miserable night

a freakish accident, a stunning blow
for all of us who forget in the now
that something senseless can befall
giants or ants equally erased

no one seemed to mind the new lights
in that place where old smells still lived
now the young faces chattered and talked
for new eras were hiding in the fold of time

the world moves, rotates endlessly hurried
i will remember as many like me must do
each carries memories of your giant spirit
that is all that remains and all that persists...

-reena

thirst

• Desperate for rain, 

• as if it will wash this indelible ink, 

• of voices and messages I can't shut off, 

• of worlds and words that can't be unlooked, 

• so on I go with a myth that pleases but no one, 

• just leaves a thirst so deep, 

• I long for nothing but rain rain rain...

one thirsty moment...

march 01 2016

the graduate

when did you grow up so much
that you can be alumni of any place
and now they have you back
to talk about the places you've been

you are but not yet fifteen
i see the wisdom arriving in your soul
such confusion for this mom's heart
your beatific baby smile is all i recall

your school of nine years, endless memories
it was a drive we've done a million times
moving from back to the front seat
in my car among your many graduations

i miss the days i had to rush like the wind
fight traffic, fight life -- somedays it was war
and there you'd be waiting, yet sometimes hard to be found
holding your own, only letting go in mommy's car

somedays a haven where you'd sit in silence
sometimes a madhouse where i'd have to bite my tongue
some days a confessional where sins were owned
sometimes just a place to hide from the world

and when we drove up to your old school last night
you played that song we used to sing in comical fun
when i laughed and said, what times it brings to mind
you said, "of course mom! i had to play it this ride"

how precious those days and they won't come back
but i know your soul does remember them well
you find treasures of meaning, what grown men can't do
my little sweet soul the world must have a lovely place for you

for my sweet M forever...

love,
Mom

Jan 15th, 2015 the day after "alumni night" at Bowman...