endless march

i saw my grieving friend today
lost her grown son decades too soon
i hugged her tight for loss and love
she hesitated, "i'm ok" as she gently shook

i couldn't bring bumbling words to account
for this wretched reversal of a universe so cruel
she said she's back at work and shrugged,
"they ask why, but what else can i do...?"

she talked of his wife and her loss
generously giving her grief more sway
saying she lost her best friend, her love
how will she carry on, resume from there?

indifferent grief sat among us as we talked
how can we raise them, lose them, yet live on?
what is the nature of hope in such darkness?
"he said goodbye..." she smiled wide, "i love you mom"

and life moves right on without another thought
while it does us in, shattering all we sought
wide open wounds bleed and there is no pause
life's unabated drumbeat, "march on, march on!"

says she's wading through family pictures, old slides
ever practical readying for ceremonies and guests
then she saw my clouded face and gave me a smile
"i did lose his future, but i still have his past!"

-reena

for my dear, brave friend...
oct 10th 2015

i'm not here

sometimes it's just so long
before i catch my breath
and half this life is gone
exhausted, washed away

so who was it that said
i could have ruled this place
promises i made unwitting
signatures that make me pay

now you come asking for more
i don't know that i can undo
those vows i can still remember
and even promises to you

meanwhile i dream of losing
myself in new lands
where they believe the tales i bring
and no one knows my name

perhaps this vanity will die with me
perhaps it will set me free
but before that endless eternity
there's a different path i seek...


--reena
oct 7, 2015
..dream on...

truant

i dream of the mountains
songs etched deep in my mind
as if tracks laid from a past i can't account
yet the strains i hear are live and loud

i long for that airy smell of elevation
the thinner air and pricks of pine
the brooks that run on hurried tour
so madly blind to the flowers ashore

reminds me of a youthful song
but really nothing i haven't sung before
yet more than once i come back here
to replay the memories, slay my fears

and an immortality i can replay
for i can see those who saw this before
did they feel this tender touch of skin
did they tread the trails where i have been

and if they have as i do today
did their stories play out like mine will say
the pull so strong i can't be still
this cosmic embrace of those smoky blue hills

i'll be gone but the mountains live on
i surely was here, my dust will attest
my thoughts and warmth beckoning others on
my love encrusted in these hills and beyond...


-reena
as i long for the mountains... just becoz'

aug 25th 2015

The big day...

September 6, 2006

Yesterday was your big day - you started Kindergarten at Bowman International. Nana-nani were here to give you their blessings. How wonderful that they could be here to do that. Nani fed you a spoon of "dahi aur cheeni" to mark the occasion. I loved the little ceremony.

We drove together -- your dad and I to drop you off. At school, outside your classroom, it was all over before I could get acclimated to the new drop off. With a kiss and a wave you were gone and your dad and I were left standing there agape. I was quite apprehensive about my little baby and how she will fare on day one but you seemed so with it....my little self-contained one. As I always say, "You're wise beyond MY years."

This morning however there were a few tears. You complained about how long the day was and how much you "...missed mommy all day". I know you're pining for the lazy and magical, warm days with nana-nani that you've spent this summer. To comfort you, we talked about using your "kissing hand" and you said "it did not work" so i showed you how it works only if you place it on your heart and say "i miss mommy and now I feel better". That seemed to help. Then you demanded today (day 2), to carpool with Anya so I had to call Rizwana aunty and arrange that. Once again you left with a big smile and were gone before I could get my fill of your sweet smile...

How I miss you my little one. It's a big week for you and for me. I think about how this is your first big step into the world. My love is with you, always.

----

--Reena

Publishing now that my little dumpling has graduated from 8th grade ...9 years later ...but this was written after that first day of Kindergarten.

September 6th 2006

precious

the ephemera of life on this earth

never fails to impress 

whence all is said and done

love will count, not much else

so go out, run free, be great

don't forget to touch that heart, kiss that face, hug that one

who lights up your life every moment of every day

for come tomorrow it may just be a memory

clutch these moments, hold on, love well - today!!

******

 June 9, 2011

came to me a long time ago when that silly and very young little girl Mira, asked me how much I loved her...I laughed and cried...before I could answer

thorns

ran wild among my flowers fragrant
made it my habit of being found with them
ran in a hurry, inhaled magic colors
but somehow the thorns caught my shins

traded soft sands and easy lands
for runs and exhausting promises
while winds erased the paths i imagined
found new dreams as old ones vanish

and yet the bruises do cruelly remind
of far off tales and dusty paths
you once reminded me of the sins
of forgetting in love's aftermath

but will i be ready waiting at life's door
when the mighty fences have melted away
when my shins have grown stronger skin
when it's time to fly away...


--------
reena
june 4th 2015

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